Fake Nursing Words

As nurses, sometimes we chart more than we see our patients. The only way to flip the tables is to just chart faster. The problem with charting faster is we don’t always see our spelling mistakes until later when we run the spell checker and finalize our notes. These are errors I make frequently, but they are so good, they really should be their own real words.

Toleraging (verb), ability to tolerate something while being violently oppose to it

“Patient is toleraging their diet, no nausea or vomiting.”

 

Flagyle (Noun), a rare but life threatening allergic reaction to Flagyl identified by an argyle pattern raised rash. Prevalent in the patients of Scottish decent. Use of alternative antibiotics recommended.

“IVF with IV Zosyn and Flagyle.”

 

Ostormy (noun), an uncontrollable ostomy (see also: $#!+ Storm)

“No flatus via ostormy, stoma is pink, moist, not currently putting out stool post operative day one.”

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8 thoughts on “Fake Nursing Words

  1. Barbara Zeynep Turkdal

    We used to howl over the transcription errors made by the fine folks in India who were transcribing our doc’s notes. Patients were often made to sound like a machine or automobile with the errors……

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We don’t have a way to edit our notes once we save them. We can only amend them. I’m undecided if amending makes us sound more stupid. I frequently retread my notes with head in hands, thinking of how embarrassed I’ll be if someone reads that.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m not saying no one reads our notes, because they have saved my bacon on occasion, but no one has ever called me out on my fake nursing words.

    I know some nurses who read EVERY note ever written on a patient. I personally find it an amazing waste of time, but I do peruse notes on occasion when I need a pick me up 😀

    -Nurse David

    Liked by 1 person

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